Confusion United

Our experiences shape who we become. Who we become shapes our decisions. Our decisions shape the world around us. The world around us help shape our experiences....

Nov 12

Random writing

Once upon a fairy’s tail there was a little princess pea whose shell told her she could never leave to be what she always wanted to be. She dreamed and dreamed of the world outside in which only breezes sang her lullabies. One day the pretty little princess pea fell out of her shell having grown too big and rolled onto the soil down a hill resting a foot away from a lonely oak tree. The lonely oak grew from a seed himself understood the princess pea’s confusion and comforted with leaves moving just so gently out of the way to bath with sun the pretty princess. With the rich soils cradle and the warm sunlight’s nurturing, the princess grew and laid down roots. She said “I think this my home will be” and a stem with a small leaf poked out to her pride. The next few months she grew and grew until many branches and leaves she could boast. Spring came with flowers blooming turning the pretty princess pea into an even prettier princess pea. Where these flowers wilted her own pea pods evolved in which little mini princess peas grew. They dreamed of the world outside too and the princess pea told them that one day they would see the lovely land and smell the rich, damp soil. They would someday feel the sunlight and watch themselves blossom into a beautifully thriving plant. And they did.


Oct 1

AMAZING

I’ve been worrying that I’m not ready for a long term relationship. I really want one but I’m not sure I’ll be able to have a healthy one after my unhealthy past relationships. I’ve been worrying that if I ever get into another relationship, I’ll end up in a similar situation as my last relationship. I believe I’ve been avoiding them because I didn’t know how to avoid completely loosing myself into that person. Lately I’ve been worrying about it more than usual.

I was talking to my best friend about this and expressing my fear that I will go back to being that person. At that moment I looked at exactly what I had read and realized something extremely important. I realized that I sounded exactly like so many people coming to me for advice. I sounded like I believed my own feelings and actions to be out of my control. I sounded as if I would not be able to help loosing myself in the other person. I always tell people this same thing and they never believe that it is that easy but it really is. I always tell them that now that they consciously know that there is a possibility of that happening and are so worried about it, it can’t possibly happen unless you consciously let it happen.

Because I now know that I have that fear of becoming reliant on another person. Because I know I worry that I’ll completely immerse myself into them and loose my independence, there is no possible way I will let that happen.

There are so many things in life that are completely out of our control. One thing we always have control over are ourselves and our actions. Even in a situation that seems out of control, we have the ability to control our reaction to that situation which still gives us a measure of control over our lives. I can’t believe that I’ve been so worried about not only that but so many other things for no reason at all.

I’m sitting here in wonder. I’ve never felt happier than this moment. With all the changing I’ve accomplished over the course of this year, I do believe this has to be the most precious of my achievements.

<3


Sep 23

SO TRUE!!!!

Truths for Mature Humans

1.  I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong

3.  I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4.  There is great need for a sarcasm font

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.  Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.  Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.  I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

9.  Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you just know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.

12. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this… ever.

14. Bad decisions make good stories.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I hate leaving  my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

16. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

18. I disagree with Key Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

19. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take two trip to bring my grosheries in.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back just a little too far.

26. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey- but I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Jul 10

I am confused. My emotions are in turmoil. I should be having fun but I’m picking up on too much of the stress and unhappiness of the people around me. The disorganization is creating a challenge to my ability to really enjoy my time here. I am thankful I have someplace to come home to after my trip is over where there is an order to things. I am thankful that I was provided the chance to come out here and experience life in a different place. I feel ungrateful. I miss home. I feel like I have unfinished business of some sort somewhere. I feel like my center is off. I feel extremely off balance. I feel very anxious. I am thinking too much on all the wrong things and too little on all the right things. I am confused.


Jun 8

Megan’s runes

Fortune telling =]

My trip to Washington:

It’s a test. There will be a misunderstanding. This will test my patience and perseverance. Do not try to over reach or excessive striving. On my spiritual path I may feel isolated, but within me burns the fire of inspiration urging you onward and upward. Feed the fire by perseverance. Seek answers but don’t get encumbered with irrelevant questions. Live one day at a time. Love, harmony or peace may be hard to achieve, but persevere.

My trip to Pennsylvania:

The shift that was due has occurred allowing Joy. Joy accompanies new energy. The challenge is that the life I have been living has outgrown it’s form. This is opportunity Disguised as loss. Old forms must die for new energy to be released. Could invoke the loss of someone or something I have an intense emotional bond to. The danger is through hasty or ill timed action. Life force is split away. If an association is short lived do not grieve. Know that it has fulfilled its span. Matters of trust and confidence are at issue here. I’ll find answers within myself.

The rest of the summer:

dagr (breakthrough/day) signals a major shift or breakthrough in the process of self change. complete transformation in attitude. b/c the timing is right, outcome is assured although not from the present vantage point predictable. in each life there’s one moment that if recognized and seized transforms the course of life forever. rely on radical trust, even though you may leap empty handed into the void. A major period of achievement and prosperity is often introduced by this rune. the darkness is behind you and the daylight has come. receiving raido reversed puts you on notice to be particularly attentive to personal relationships. at this time ruptures are more likely than reconciliations and effort may be required to keep your good humor. w/e happens, how you respond is up to you. what you regard as detours will become rerouting opportunities. the necessity of learning to deal w/ severe constraint. this rune represents the obstacles we create for ourselves and well as those we encounter in the world. identify your dark repressed side where growth has been stunted. you might need to reconsider your plans. you may need to work on yourself. consider the uses of adversity.

mmm Interesting


Adorable


Jun 1

On Love

“Love is, you know, more flexible than you may think. When you’re young, you imagine that there’s one true person for you, and that only that person will do, but the truth is that many people will do just as well, and that love is more a matter of choice than of destiny or magic.”


May 12


LOL!!!!

LOL!!!!


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